


Falling Inside The Black

by Mangachan78



Series: JapaneseDrama [1]
Category: Samurai High School
Genre: Angst, Depression, F/M, M/M, Rape ( maybe ), Samurai, Self-Harm, Self-cest, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-24
Updated: 2014-11-04
Packaged: 2018-02-22 10:25:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2504462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mangachan78/pseuds/Mangachan78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kotaro did not mind the samurai much lately, but after hearing many prefer the samurai over him . He is afraid to disappear, how can he escape the claws inside the darkness . Will the samurai notice it ?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Disappear

**Author's Note:**

> It's a japanese drama Mochizuki Kotaro ( played by Miura Haruma ) a simple teenager who is actually little bit a coward, is possessed by a samurai who shares his name . And you know it, he will braver and such . Well I can't really explain it so well, so if you like watch it yourself . I like it pretty much :D !  
> Plus I like them as a couple, they let me think of Yugioh yaoi fics ( with Yami & Yugi :) )
> 
> \- Manga-Chan78

_It’s so dark outside, it’s so dark even the stars are not visible ._

_I wonder what I am doing here .._

_I want to go home, to my warm bed, inside the safe walls ._

_My father will be there, my mother, my sister ._

_And …_

_HIM_

_I shiver as I thought he will be there, waiting for my return ._

_I will not return to him, no I will not …_

_Even if the world will turn dark and cold to me ._

_I refuse … If I go back, I will disappear ._

_I feel like I will disappear .._

 

“ Kotaro wake up ! “ The sleeping boy groaned as he turned around, his eyes stared at the person who was shaking him awake .

“ What .. “ His eyes could not say what was a dream or reality just yet, his sister looked annoying as she figured it out . “ You idiot ! “ She said as kicked him at his side, he looked displeased but let it go . He did not want to face her warth this early .

Woman are just that scary that’s a fact .

He looked at his clock, as she walked out his room . And noticed he was actually late .” Damn ! “

His mother was enjoying her thee, as he ran from the staircases . “ Kotaro what will you do if you have job ! “ His mother sighed with worry, of the thought of that .

“ S-sorry .. “ He said and took some breath, to fill his stomach with .

“ Why are you still here ? “ He asked Yuna .” I have a day off . .” She just said simple, Kotaro nodded and looked again at the clock . “ See you guys later ! “

He ran out .

“ I wished he was sometimes, that actor that likes to play . “

“ Who ? That samurai that he sometimes pull off, as he turns serious . “

“ Yeah . “

What they don’t know was that Kotaro heard that last part, as he run for his life to school .

 

( school )

 

“ Mochizuki-kun ! “ His sensei looked at him with a iron face, as he smiled dumbly at her back . “ S-sorry I over slept . “

“ You are not kidding . “

“ S-sorry ..  “

Nagasawa Ai & Nakamura Tsuyoshi looked worried as the class, looked amused at them . “ Go sit down .” Kotaro nodded and went to sit down .

“ I wonder why you can not always act, like that if you play samurai . “

Kotaro looked at her, everyone nodded as Nakamura and Ai looked at each other .” Ah … I wonder … “ He just said .

He sat down as many thoughts jumped at him at once .

 

_Are they sick of me ?_

 

_Don’t they like me anymore ?_

 

 

_They wanted the other one .._

 

_They don’t want me anymore .._

 

_I am just second .._

 

_They want me gone …_

 

_They don’t want me anymore .._

 

_They don’t want me anymore .._

 

_They don’t want me anymore .._

 

_Will I just …_

 

_Disappear ?_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 is ready to read ! I tried not translating for once, just keep writing in english . It was not easy, I can sense so many mistakes already :( I just wished they had more episodes of them, so not fair :'(
> 
> \- Manga-Chan78

Kotaro sighed as he was cleaning the gym with Nakamura, the big teen looked at his friend . " Are you okay ? ... " He asked as he looked at the ground, still shy to look at someone . Worried he said something that will bother them .

Kotaro said nothing on that ." No it's nothing ... Had a bad sleep .."

" Oh ... A nightmare ? " He ask .

" Well .. You can say that, but in the end .. It was just nothing ." Nakamura looked up as Kotaro said that ." Was it scary ? "

" No ."

" Really ? " He don't believe him, Kotaro smiled with a stupid grin on his face ." Don't worry about it ! It will turn scary and bothersome if we, give it too much attention ."

" ... " Nakamura said first nothing, and then he nodded yes ." Yeah you are right ..."

It was silent the boys said nothing, the rest of the cleaning was done by silence .

Before Kotaro know it, he was walking home ." See you tomorrow Tono ? " Nakamura said like he was asking, if he will see him tomorrow or not . " Ah sure ... You guys will miss me too much ! "

Nakamura smiled as Kotaro looked cheered up ." Bye ! "

The two parted ways, Kotaro walked alone home .

" Ghyaaaaa help me ! " Screamed a woman, in panicked ." Shut up you old hag ! " Screamed some teen punks, as one tried to get her purse .

Kotaro jumped up as he heard them, as he slipped with his head hard against the ground . " Oi ! Look at that you guys, that guy here jumped up by some screaming ! " A big one laughed as the others snickered, the woman looked shocked . But her fingers are still holding tight, on her purse .

It treats to get ripped in half, as she will not get it soon from the other boys .

'  _What are you doing, such a shameless act .'_

The teens looked at the guy, who was just knocked out . " Wha ..."

'  _You are not only stealing from a commoner, but from a defenseless female ! '_ The guys don't like the look, the guy was giving him .

" Shit you bastard ! " One of them want to hit him, with a pipe that was on the ground not far from them .

But the Samurai just slipped past him, it looked like he danced around the guy . And took his weapon, as he turned against him .

'  _A warrior should not wield their weapons, with small emotions . Your weapon will turn against you, before you know it . '_

The woman looked amazed as he, defeated all of them with a single pipe . He looked at her, with wild eyes of a hunter . And bowed down to her ."  _Be more careful woman, go home before lady Kaguya looks down at you . '_

" I ... T-thank you very much ! " She said as she bowed down, Samurai nodded yes and took it off ." Wait ! " She screamed as she ran after him ."  _What is your business, that you want with me ? '_

She was first quiet, wondering why he is still speaking like some samurai ." What's your name ? "

Before he could answer a voice, disturbed them quickly ." Kotaro ? " Samurai looked at the man, who was the boss of the Mochizuki household .'  _Greeting honorable father . '_

'  _Ah Mochizuki-dono ! '_ The man noticed that his son, pulled again the samurai act . He found it amusing since there was a pretty woman, behind him he looked at the thugs . And figured that his son, wanted to impress the lady behind him .

" Ah is he ... Your son ? " She asks .

" Yes my son Kotaro ."

The samurai kept quiet, he wanted to say he was not . But then he will bring himself and his host in danger, he will just accept what the honorable father said .

" Your son is sure strong for his age ." She told him ." He saved me a while ago . "

" Ah .. Yes I know he is quite the hero, as someone is in need ."

_' It was a shameless act that they were doing, I did not do a thing like playing a hero . '_

" Yes of course ." Mochizuki Shinji said ." But we have to go now, mother is waiting home for us ."

The two man left as the woman, was still standing there . She a dangerous smile was playing on her beautiful face ." Kotaro-kun ... "

Kotaro's mother and his sister, looked in surprise as the samurai stepped in the house like nothing happened at all .

" Really it starts to creep me out ."

Her mother nodded yes as she was preparing diner ." Dear maybe you should talk to him about it ."

" .. About what ? " He ask as he was refreshing himself up ." About ... His samurai act ." She whispered but Kotaro looked straight back at her .'  _Which act are you displeased about honorable mother ? '_

" That act ! " She said loud and clear, as she dared him to speak back at her like that again .'  _You do not have to worry honorable mother, it is not an act that I am playing . '_

Then he looked at Shinji, still displeased what he said earlier . '  _Or playing hero is also not my thing to do, I will not walk by . And let a defenseless female alone, by her fate by those shameless thieves . '_

Yuna looked surprised ." You saved someone ? "

" Some young lady, those punks he beaten up . Wanted her money, it's horrible how five men . Gang up to 1 woman ." Shinji said as he sliped some rice in his mouth

" It do not matter if it's one woman or two ." His wife said she only give the samurai rice, since she figured he refused to eat her special hamburgers . " Nobody should be robbed off, of what they have or what they still have left ."

'  _I agree with you honorable mother .'_ The samurai speaked up suddenly, that both parents jumped slightly as Yuna . Has to hide her small smile, as she saw the look on their faces .

The samurai looked confused as they, both gave a displeased childish look at him .

_I wonder ..._

_How deep the ocean is ..._

_It's black no light could reach the bottom, where I am heading to .._

_I keep sinking deeper and deeper ..._

_I tried to breath, but only small air keep escaping my mouth ..._

_As I try not to sink ..._

_But it don't matter how much I struggle, I just keep sinking ._


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick upload of chapter 3 for you guys ! :D I love the pairing so much, can not wait the romance scene :3 Oh yeah I forgot to say, in chapter 2 . It was not easy to write someone who speaks in samurai language ( really should be a language ), so bear with it and say if you notice a mistake of it !
> 
> \- Manga-Chan78

Kotaro was worried, he was standing what it looks like a white platform . It was dark and he was alone, well he thought he was alone ...

He looked at the figure that was standing not too far from him .

Kotaro could not see his face, or anything . Not even his hair couler, his eyes or what he was wearing .

Only his figure, Kotaro could tell that it was a male .

The figure did not even move, but how Kotaro kept a eye on him .

The figure was looking at him back, daring Kotaro to run away . Kotaro swallowed as his hands, were sweating and his neck ached . But still he did not dare to move, the figure was not letting him out of his sight .

Still waiting and waiting ... Till Kotaro will go back, switching with the samurai .

Kotaro's mind was only on the samurai lately, he was little pissed by it . He is already 3 days in his body, and Kotaro is still not back .

_Was i even wanted in the beginning ?_

_Will this be my fate, disappearing without nobody knowing it .._

_Will they forgot me and move on, with an other one ?_

_No ..._

_Please help me ..._

_I do not want to disappear ..._

Ai looked annoying as the samurai yet again, escaped her as she tried to hug him ." Why do you want to hug him so badly actually ? " Her friend asked her .

" He will change then back to Kotaro ." She said as it was a normal thing to say,as she tried to follow the guy ." Eh ? ! But I like him like this ~ " The other girl whined as she jumped on Ai's back, Ai looked at her friend .

" Yeah I know he is more likable but, Kotaro is my friend I can not let him getting controled ! "

" Oi are we still on the same page ? " Her friend looked worried now ." It's just an act right ? You acting like it something terrible ."

" I believe it's not an act ." She said firm as she crossed her arms, and looked deep in thoughts ." Okay what is it then ? "

" I believe Kotaro has ... A double personality . "

" Eh ? " Nakamura looked shocked as he heard Ai said that ." How long are you here ! " Shouted the short-haired girl, as she looked in shock at the big guy ." Not so long I tried following Tono, but he was faster ... "

Ai noticed he was out breath, as tried to stand next to them ." You ran ..."

" Yes Tono was running around the whole school, saying I should not follow . "

Ai looked at her best friend ." Now it's getting serious ."

The Samurai sighed as he finally lost Nakamura, and enjoyed the warmth of the sun . As it is still high in the sky .

He wonder when he will go back, the host is already 3 days locked up . And the Samurai wonder when he will get the control back .

Of course he knows as Nagasawa hugs him, they switch immediately as he will faint . But he did not like it, as she hugs him or the host of the body .

He gets looked annoyed at that, and he figured that Nakamura is also not liking it . Since he has a big crush on her, but is too shy to tell her that .

He figured he has to teach him how to be a man, and confess before an other warrior . Will claim her and she will bear the other's children .

But still ... He was in the park as he looked at children, very young playing on the swings or kicking a ball .

He will never know how it feels like having children, he never had a wife, he died young, and he is now stuck in the body of someone else . Who has the right to live, and having children of his own .

The samurai's heart ached at the though, if he will get a woman who will bear his children . he wonders if he should reborn then, but being the son and the young Kotaro his father . He did not like the thought, he feels more apart from him if that happens .

what should this feeling be called ?

_**I should ask honorable father, he may know the feeling my hearts feels ... It hurts, I can feel also happiness, and will not stop beating faster .** _

As he got home, he only saw the man . in the house reading the news paper, with a little interest. "  _Greetings honorable father ! '_

'  _Greeting Mochizuki-dono '_

'  _I sense that you are alone in here . '_

" Yes mother and Yuna are at the store, you remember you broke yesterday her ruler and some other things ? " The samura nodded he was preparing, to sleep and wanted to keep his mind and body ( actually the other Kotaro's body ) in shape .

" They are at the store to buy new ones, and you should really apologize to Yuna ."

'  _i regret for not checking the small katana's condition's, but it's not my fault she left her stuff around the whole house . And it ended in the room, I rested yesterday night . '_

The father thought about it ." Okay you should not apologize ." He simply said and looked back at his news paper .

'  _Honorable father ...'_ The man looked again up, the samurai stepped firm to him . As he tried to say something .

" What's wrong ? "

'  _I have a quiestion, man to man . '_

Now the father looked up, it's not everyday that Kotaro wanted to talk man to man . Especially as he is in samurai mode .

" Okay ... Sit down and spill all your secrets ."

' _I regret it is not a secret, I have none to tell . It's a business for my hearts condition . '_

Shinji looked worried and shock went over his face ." Is something wrong with your heart ? You need a doctor ? " Is there something he did not notice about his son, he could not live with that .

'  _Do not worry I believe it's not a dying disease . '_

" How can you say it so easily ..."

'  _I think about a person, every time I think about it .. The more my hearts get confused, and it aches like a stab wound .. '_

Shinji was quiet as he listened .

 _' I feel ... I dare to say happiness, like the person is the only one in the world . I will give my life to, and walk to the future ... '_ Samurai was quiet as he thought about it, Shinji was amazed his son was ..." Something else ? "

'  _It beats normale as go to ... School ? Talking with Nakamura-dono, and the woman Nagasawa is no problem for me . '_

 _ **Too bad ...**_  Shinji thought he really wanted that to happen .

'  _It beats faster as my thoughts, are full of the person ... '_

" Kotaro ..." The samurai looked up . '  _Honorable Father I sorry to say this but .. '_  The man put his finger on his lips ." Listen ... I know what the feeling is . "

'  _..._  '

" It's called love, you are in love ."

The Samurai's eyes widened, the info rolled in his thoughts . And before he know it, his eyes rolled back and fall down . " Kotaro ! "

The man could hold his son on time, as Kotaro opened his eyes ." Dad what ... What are you doing ? "

" Eh you fell down, you fainted when we were talking ."

" Talking ? "

He could remember bits and pieces, but the talking of his father and the samurai . He could not remember that .

" I don't remember .. " The boy sighed as he stood up ." So you don't remember what you told me ? "

" What was that ? " Kotaro asked ." Nothing ." Shinji said with a simple nod, and walked to the kitchen .

" Did I missed something ..."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that the chapter is short, the next one will be longer . And Samurai and Kotaro will finally speak to each other, bit little by little :D
> 
> Kotaro will have his break down moment, but the fic will not be over so quickly !
> 
> \- Manga-Chan78

Diner was .. Well Kotaro expected it less ... What should he say, not like a war zone . Yuna was glaring dangerously at him, while his mother did not stop talking . '  _And you are not a child anymore, and you should know better '_ &  _' Study some more which collegy you will go if you will not . '_

And his father tried to hide somehow knowing smile, as he readed Kotaro in and out . Without him knowing why, or what he has to hide .

As diner was done, Kotaro went to his room . " Kotaro . " Kotaro looked at his father ." Do not worry even if you don't remember a thing, your father will gladly help you okay . "

" Ah ..."

 _ **What has gotten into him .**_ " Don't worry I do not need help ." He said  _ **Just play alone maybe it's something the samurai said .**_ " What are you talking about ? Of course your father will help ! " The man said with a laugh .

" What are you talking about ." Yuna looked at them as she passed by ." It's a man thing ."

" I am not related to you, if the police finds out ." She said as she walked to her room ." Oi what do you by that ? "

" Don't worry Kotaro your father is proud ! "

" Eh ..."

_**I don't even know what you are talking about dad .** _

The night was peaceful as Kotaro was happy to sleep in his bed, of course the samurai sleeps too . But Kotaro was happy with the feeling in a nice bed .

He wonders what he and his father were talking about, it seemed something that his father is proud and happy about . Kotaro has a bad feeling about it, he hopes that tomorrow will be peaceful as the night itself .

Morning came and Kotaro feels that the bad mood, of yesterday is slowly retreating . He said his goodbyes and went to school, were the real trouble is .

" Ah Kotaro ! " His classmates all looked at his ." Yo ! "

" Ah man he is not the samurai ..." Everyone looked away from him, Kotaro felt bit hurt . " What is with you guys ." He said little bit annoying, Ai and Nakamura looked at him . " They hide that they are happy, you are back to your idiot self ." Ai said as she took her books, Nakamura nodded as he agree .

They did not lie, the class was happy . That he was back, but Kotaro felt that she was mocking him . And bit the inside of his cheek, as he sat quietly on his chair . Ai noticed that Kotaro actually ignored her .

" What's up you seem angry . "

" Leave me alone ." He just said as Ai looked at him, with wide eyes and Nakamura looked bit shocked . " Mochizuki-kun .. She did not mean ..."

" Alright class time to start ! " Their sensei said as Nakamura went quiet .

Everyone felt it, as they looked uncomfortable .

_They don't want you, they don't want you ..._

_Disappear, go away and die !_

_Nobody will miss you, you are a failure !_

_Go away !_

_Go away !_

Kotaro thought's made him more angry, as he hold tightly his pencil . His eyes were flashing from his pen, to his paper .

The words were changing, like it was some magic trick . And only Kotaro could see it .

_Go away !_

_Go away !_

_Even if you die here, nobody will ..._

_Notice it ~_

" Shut up ! " He screamed loudly and took his table . And smashed it the ground, as he stood up angrily ." Mochizuki-kun ! " His sensei looked shocked and the class, looked at him as he grow a second head .

" Shut up ! Shut up ! " He screamed at his hand flew to his hair, and tried to pull it out ." Kotaro stop it ! " Ai shouted Nakamura tried to stop him, as Kotaro fell on the ground . And kept screaming like a mad man .

" Someone get help ! "

" Everything will be okay Kotaro ! " Ai said Kotaro feels something wet on his face, his eyes stung and he could see that Ai's eyes were tearing up .

He wonders which tears he is feeling .

" Stop it ..." He said before he blacks out .


End file.
